When I saw the snapchat post I felt a flood of emotions. I was angry that anyone would first, violate someone else's privacy by taking the photo and second, shame them in such a horribly public manner. I was sad that anyone would feel the need to make fun of another person's body in such a cruel way. My heart hurt for the lady in the photo whose nude photo is now plastered all over the internet without her knowledge or permission. I can not imagine finding out that everyone I know would see something so intimate and personal.
I read the subsequent comments and apologies where in she said she would never body shame and it wasn't her intention for it to be shared publicly. As I read her apologies, I just kept thinking... "You intentionally took that photo, then took a photo of your 'reaction'. Which you proceeded to label 'If I can't unsee this then you can't either'. Whether you intended for it to be seen publicly or not, you intended for someone to see you making fun of that woman's body. Your comment implies disgust and that she should hide her body, which by extension implies that she should, in fact, be ashamed of her body. Unfortunately, what was sent out publicly cannot be taken back. This woman, who was at the gym, doing her best to take care of her 'can't be unseen' body, will now have to deal with not only the public humiliation and degradation of this 'private conversation', but the absolute violation of her privacy. She may be okay with the world seeing her nude, but she may not, and it was not anyone else's place to take away her right to decide that."
I really want to give her the benefit of the doubt and I think it would be wrong to assume any personal knowledge of her intentions.
If I could say anything to Dani I would say this...
I work with women who daily fight a battle just to not hate their bodies because at some point in their lives someone has told them/made them to feel that they should be ashamed of their bodies. I have walked in their shoes, which is exactly why I do what I do. You are a beautiful young woman. You are a public figure. You have the unique opportunity to be able to build other women up. To encourage people to appreciate the beauty of the human body in any form and help other women feel better about themselves.
We have all made horrible mistakes and are guilty of poor judgement calls. Most of us have not had to face them and own them so publicly. I don't imagine that you are the horrible monster that people are making you out to be, nor do I believe that you deserve to be ripped apart the way the people behind their almighty-screens-of-judgement will try to do. I hope that what you take away from this is a better understanding of what drove your behavior/choices and are able to change the underlying motivation. I also hope that you gain a deeper level of compassion, respect and love for your fellow woman. I hope that you are one day a voice speaking for the beauty of the woman in that photo, rather than against. I wish you well.
What would I say to the woman in the photo if I knew her?
I would say this:
It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of your body, what they say only speaks of what is in their hearts, not your value or your beauty. I cannot imagine having my privacy so publicly violated, but I hope that you know that you have absolutely NOTHING to be ashamed of. I don't know "why" you go to the gym, whether you go because you love your body, or because you want to change it, but either way, you are taking care of it, and that, as unintentional as it was, is a beautiful example to other women.
My deepest hope for you is that when you look at the photo, you will see only the beauty and strength of a woman who is working hard to take care of the body she has been given and see nothing at all to feel bad about or ashamed of. I pray that this experience will give you the courage to keep working, to love yourself even more, to encourage other women to love their bodies and discover their true beauty and inspire the people who are watching for your response to graciously forgive. May you be blessed by this experience rather than hurt by it. <3
To all of the women who may read this...
To all of the women who may read this...
I want to encourage you to love your body. Go to the gym. Go for that run. Press play on that workout dvd. Take care of the amazing body you have been given. Not because you hate the way it looks, or you want to look like someone else, but because you appreciate it! Ladies, the human body is a remarkable thing. The sheer complexity of all of it's functions and all of the incredibly diverse variations we see are nothing less than miracles. Our differences are something to be celebrated, not something to be ashamed of. I don't know if you have struggled with body image or not, but I do know, as a woman who is only just this side of learning to love her body, we receive enough negative messages from the world around us, we do not need to be saying them to ourselves.
To the men who might be reading this, I want to say...
You have the unique opportunity to build women up. You have the ability to show them that their worth extends beyond on what they can do for you and that their beauty isn't based solely upon how they compare to the images in a magazine or on the internet.
To everyone reading this...
If you have struggled with body image and have found the freedom to love your body at every stage, not only am I so, so happy for you, but I want to encourage you to reach out. Share your story. Use your experiences to help other women find that love for themselves.
If you are currently struggling with body image, I want to invite you to reach out, either to myself or someone you trust. You don't have to stay trapped in that pain and you don't have to face it alone.
You. Are. Beautiful. You. Are. Perfectly. Unique. You. Are. Amazing.
