Steve and I got married almost 18 years ago. We started a
life together. Two became one. Everything changed. For us that meant that our
needs were no longer the only, nor the dominant, consideration. Now, we need to
think about each other.
One day God blessed us with children. When you have children
everything changes again. The needs of Steve and myself were no longer our only
concern. Now, we have to consider what our children need and what is best for
them.
Sometimes things like money are a large factor that must,
unfortunately, also be considered.
When we had Gavyn, I could not go back to work due to
complications with labor and my employer being unable to accommodate my new
needs. This meant cutting our income in half.
Steve worked any job he could get, sometimes two, to just
provide our basic needs. See, supporting a family of 3 - 5 on $10 - $12/hr.
wasn't easy. It didn't leave room for travel, or going out with friends, or
even date nights or vacations. When you are fighting to put food on the table
you end up having to make sacrifices. Being able to go on a vacation or take a
trip somewhere would mean not paying for things like electricity or rent. With
children depending on us for their needs, we couldn't make those sacrifices.
When I was physically able to work again we were faced with
a choice. We had to decide if it would be better for our family if I got a job
or if I continued to stay home and raise our children. At that point my earning
potential would not have covered the cost of putting 3 children in daycare full
time. Additionally, both Steve and I felt that it would benefit them more if I
continued to stay home with them.
So, we chose a single income, and all of the financial
limitations that it implied over having the extra money to do with as we
pleased. We did that in order to give our children what we believed was best
for them.
It was hard. It was a really difficult sacrifice, but to us,
it was worth it.
As rent went up and his wage stayed the same we had to decide
if he should go back to school for a second degree to try and improve his
employment opportunities or take on another job. We felt that the former was
the better option. It would mean him working a full-time job while going to
college full-time. Which would in turn mean more time away from his family and
a huge financial obligation for us, but as things stood, we could not afford to
keep living on $12/hr. and an education provided greater lasting benefit than
another job, so, school it was.
We gave up weekend trips with friends, we gave up going to
the movies, taking trips to see family... we sacrificed precious time together.
Why? So we could do better for our kids.
Steve finished that degree with a GPA worthy of Magna Cum
Laude, while working full-time, raising a family, and still making time to
attend church and his children's sports events. He sacrificed sleep, fun,
hobbies, travel, seeing friends and extended family all to be the best dad he
could.
Even with his degree and a new career, supporting a family
of 5 on $2,000/month isn't exceedingly easy. You would be surprised how much
food 3 growing children can eat! o.O So, I started health coaching. I got
trained and certified to be a Fitness Instructor. I am completing my training
to be a Certified Personal Trainer. I study nutrition and will be attending
training to counsel with people one on one.
Why am I doing all this?
1. Because it is the passion of my heart to see other
people's pain healed, to encourage them to dare to dream big and watch them
reach their goals. It is my desire to help as many people as I possibly can.
This training will enable me to do that.
2. To provide financial freedom for our family.
Why financial freedom?
Because then we can give more, we can do more, we can bless
more, we can take those trips to see the people we care about.
To achieve those two things, we have had to set boundaries,
we have had to make commitments, we have had to forego luxuries and we have had
to really nail down our priorities.
As a family, we sat down, talked about and agreed to our
priorities.
For us, that begins with God first. Without Him as the head
of our family, directing our path, we wander aimlessly. It is our desire to
seek His will for us, to follow His leading and bless as many people as we can.
In order for us to be and do our best for our children, we
need to take care of our marriage, so that is our second priority.
The needs of the children come before our wants, so they
come next. We will sacrifice whatever we can to give them the best possible
foundation.
Next are our precious family and friends.
We do the absolute best we can to see you as often as
possible. We regret that it isn't nearly as often as we would like. If we were
able to afford to see your more, we would gladly. If we had "extras"
we could cut out of our life to make more time with you, believe me we would.
The point of all this is simply to say...
I'm sorry that we don't see you as much as maybe we used to.
I'm sorry we can't visit as often as you would like. I apologize that we are
rubbish at sending cards or being near a phone.
Please know that we still love you, we think of you often
and we keep you in our prayers.
Believe me, I understand how much it costs to make trips. I
know what it takes to get one person, let alone a family of 5, to a different
part of the country for a visit, so I understand completely why we don't get to
see family up here very often. We know from experience that it has nothing to
do with how much we matter to you, because you are all incredibly important to
us even though we don't get to go see you.
If you happen get a chance, and you're ever up our way, let
us know, we will do our best to make as much time to see you as possible.
Until we see you again...
Much <3
