Women's Rights and Feminism...

Throughout this crazy election season and particularly in the last few weeks, I have had several female friends ask me "What side are you on?" in regard to "Women's Rights" and "Feminism".

My first thought is "Why are things always divided into 'sides'?"

My response is to ask them to please define the "sides" so I can give them an informed response.

Having been asked this question so much, I figured I would write my thoughts out here. 

Let me start by saying that I completely agree with the sentiment of a friend of mine. Men and women are uniquely different and that isn't a bad thing. 

It is a good thing. 

It is part of what gives each one of us our own set of unique skills and abilities, talents and perspectives, so that we can make a contribution to the world and the lives of others. 

Second, I want to say that "differences" doesn't make one more or less valuable than anyone else, it makes each and every one valuable because they cannot be replaced.

Generally, when I ask for clarification, it comes down to two deeply polarized choices: Are you "For Women" or "For Their Abuse & Oppression".

Personally, I find those options to be a tad ridiculous. 

I mean, really? 

Can't we be "For Humanity" and the dignity, respect and value of each and EVERY life? Why do we have to value one over the other and why is it bad to value the lives of men as well?

Having a husband, two sons, two brothers, a father, and a plethora of male friends and family, I have to say that to me, their lives and rights matter just as much as mine, just as much as my daughter's, mother's, sister's and female friend's and family's.

A friend of mine made a post about the differences between men and women and how we cannot, in all things, be "equal". It was a bold statement, that I happen to agree with, and she was courageous to step out and share her feelings on the matter. It is a risky position to take, and the responses she got did nothing to encourage others to share similar perspectives. 

Which, of course, is why I felt like sharing mine. She inspired me to share my feelings on "Women's Rights", "Feminism" and "The March".

Let's be honest for a second, it is literally the difference between men and women that facilitates the procreation of human life. It takes a man and a woman to create a new life. Seriously. It takes a sperm and an egg. Without either, there is not life. Neither the egg nor the sperm is more important, but both working together, in perfect union, create a new life. 

I have several friends who argue that the woman then does "all the work" thus making her more "valuable" than the man, and while humor can be found in the discrepancy of the physical contribution after conception, that does not make the man's contribution any less valuable. The woman would not be able to carry and nourish that life without the man doing his part. (Even if that part was "just" donating the sperm.)

I am all for bettering the treatment of women around the world, but honestly, I am really for treating everyone with dignity and respect and improving the quality of life for everyone.

I believe that around the globe, women face many forms of abuse and injustice and I believe that we, as humans (not just women), are obligated to help our sisters. 

However, I do not believe that it needs to include tearing men down, devaluing them or trying to assert our gender as superior. I have a surprising number of friends who have crossed over from equality to reverse discrimination. They want women to be seen as "better than" men. It is sad that a good cause is being lost in the drive for superiority.

I also believe that we can't just "talk about it" and "share our opinions" or even just "march" and expect things to change. We need to also get out there and make a tangible difference. 

We can donate time and resources to organizations that help free women from sex trafficking, and while we are at it, let's help free children of both genders from that as well. We can help women who are victims of abuse, and while we are at it we can help children of both genders and stop belittling the experiences of men who have been victims of abuse and help them as well. We can make a positive difference for women around the world while also making a positive difference for men.

I really believe that we can make the greatest difference when we work together, in love, to improve conditions for all humanity.

Equality, true equality, is placing the same amount of value upon each life, not removing the differences that make each one of us special. That begins in the womb, before gender is known, and it continues even into how we speak of others posthumously. If we want to see equality for a specific group of people, we have to respect and value every life.

I believe that positive change can be made, but not by trying to bury the differences that make us unique or by trying to elevate one group while bringing another down. We cannot protect or gain our own rights while taking away the rights of others, including the unborn and men.

A wise man said...

The real difference will come when we love equally. When we help equally. When we are compassionate and passionate about bettering every life, not just our own or those "like" us. <3

Bless and be blessed, y'all.

A Much Needed Break.

The last couple weeks have been crazy for us. 

From sickness to snow and ice storms, life has been so very disrupted. We missed out on some fun things that we would have been doing, and my posts have been delayed, but the slow-down was so very, very needed. 

Everything being cancelled forced us to spend time together, (*gasp*), making some great memories and it allowed us to fully recover from the illness that took us all out of commission.

As we began January, with the pressing need to get our home ready to list for sale by the 30th, we could not afford to "waste" any time. There is so much work to do, not a lot of time and only one of me. I was feeling so stressed and being on the downward slope of the excitement of the holidays, I was feeling drained.

When it came to our commitments, I felt like I had nothing, zero, to offer. I had hope and joy in the promises of the Lord and even some growing excitement to see what He was going to do with our circumstances, but I was tired. 

So, so tired.

All I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and rest. For days.

- Be careful what you wish for. -

Because that is exactly what I got. The kids and of course the mommy, caught what I can only describe as the "cold from hell". The aches alone were enough to make me feel like crying, and then there was the fever, the sinus pressure that was threatening to make my skull explode, likely all over my beautiful bedding making a terrible mess to have to clean up, and the fever. My skin felt like it was on fire, my muscles felt like I had been pummeled by a heavyweight boxer and my head was throbbing from the building pressure from within. 

It was all I could do to take care of my sick babies and stand feebly in the hot shower in an attempt to comfort myself. Forget packing, sorting, cleaning, painting, and repairs.

Thankfully we still had a couple days before everything started up again. I was trying to figure out how I was going to get through the "obligations" of the coming week and something incredible happened...

* It snowed! *

You have NO idea how happy I was to see the beautiful, fluffy, white, sparkling blanket begin to cover the ground! I love snow anyway, but I have never loved it more!

Between snow and ice storms, the world around us stopped. Schools and business were closing. Families were spending time at home. Children were outside playing in the streets. The world was quiet and peaceful amidst the echos of laughter that filled the air. 

We had all just started feeling quite better when the snow came. The kids and I were able to spend afternoon after afternoon sledding on the hill by the soccer fields with friends and family. We even got to have an hour one afternoon to go sledding with their dad. (Who, poor man, had to work through the entirety of our grand adventure.)

There was excitement, laughter, squeals of joy, hot cocoa, hot cider and cookies to share. Everyone who brought a sled shared it with anyone who didn't have one. Kids and adults took turns trying out all the sleds and even shared the "favorite", reveling in the playful competition of "who could sled the farthest".

For a couple days all of the chaos, all of the busyness, all of the demands and obligations simply ceased to exist and our children got to experience the freedom of celebrating winter with the community around them.

For a few days, the adults got to make precious new memories with their children, reminisce about the joy of snow days from their youth and even become a kid again themselves. Even if it was just for a short time, it was wonderful!

It is hard to go back to the "grind" after so much unbridled joy. Times like these beg us to stay happily engaged in the dream of what life "could" be like if only things were less... complicated. 

All things must come to an end and it is often sad when they do, but we have been given a beautiful gift to hold onto in the days and years to come, when life is flying by at it's greedily demanding pace. We will have these beautiful memories to remind us of what is truly important. 

Reminders to slow down. 

Invest in the people around us. 

Laugh a little. Live a little. Love a little.

 

Be blessed, y'all. 

New Year, New Dreams.

{ Traditions }

Not everyone likes them, but we have a few that we will carry with us always.

This year we decided to continue some of our old traditions, embrace one of our favorite experiences as a tradition and start a brand new family tradition.

Since having children, we haven't been big into "celebrating" the New Year outside our home. Sure, we go visit friends and family but we always try to be home by 10 p.m. 

The last few years we have been trying something new... getting out of the house. Actually, to be more accurate, we have been leaving town. One year we spent the holidays at the beach and last year we celebrated New Year's Eve by staying over with some very dear family. That is where we had the incredible experience that left us all wanting to incorporate as a tradition going forward. 

We had never thought of starting the New Year, at 12:01 a.m., with a communion celebration. We have always taken the time to thank God for all that He has done for us over the past year and prayed for His will in the coming year. We even have a jar with slips of paper that recount all of the incredible ways, big and small, that we saw God at work in our lives over the past year. But set aside those first moments to stop, focus on His loving sacrifice, give thanks, sing His praise, and pray for His direction in the coming year... we never thought of taking that extra step. 

We were so touched and blessed by that beautiful experience we had, beginning the New Year with those we love giving thanks to our Father, that we decided we would forever begin it that way going forward.

So, after an evening of watching neighborhood fireworks in the freshly falling snow, at 12:01 a.m., gathered in our living room, having stayed home this year to enjoy what might be our last New Year in our home, we broke bread together, and gave thanks to our Father in Heaven for His unfailing love. We thanked Him for our salvation, for the grace, mercy and forgiveness given freely to all through Jesus' great sacrifice. We prayed, together, for wisdom, guidance, provision, and His will for our family in the coming year. 

Then...

We went to sleep! (I don't know about you, but the older I get, the less I desire to stay up and "party" all night. Morning is coming. hahaha)

We decided to spend part of New Year's day creating a new tradition. We have been in a season of uncertainty, particularly regarding what direction we are supposed to moving with our house situation for months. We have been seeking God, His guidance and direction, in all areas of our lives and we wanted to really spend some time starting our New Year with HIS vision.

I'm sure many of you have heard of "Dream Boards" or "Vision Boards". They are a fantastic way of sort of mapping out where we would like go in the year(s) ahead. A dear, and very wise, friend of mine introduced me to "Prophetic Boards".

What is a "Prophetic Board"? 

Well, it is the same as a "Dream/Vision Board" except... You ask God to show you HIS plan for your year. 

How does He show you His plan using a bunch of old magazines? 

In the most incredibly awesome ways! I know, it sounds silly and maybe even a little suspect. I mean, we could totally be just "picking out what we want" right? Yeah, we could do that, but what would we gain from plotting our own will? Which, is why we pray first. 

We set our will and plans aside and we ask God to show us His will and His plan for our lives. We ask Him to show us what words, phrases, or images to tear out. We ask Him to show us how to arrange them on our boards. We trust Him to reveal their meaning to us at the time of His choosing. 

Some of it makes perfect sense when it all comes together. Some of it is the answer to prayer. Some of it makes no sense at all, but if we really let Him show us what to choose, if we set our own plans aside, if we put our trust in Him and believe that He has a plan for us and He wants to share with us all that He wants to do with, through and for us, then we get to experience something incredible!

So, we prayed and let the tearing commence. We set a timer for 45 minutes. The only rule was that whatever "caught our eye" or we "felt we were supposed to tear out", no matter how crazy, we would tear out. No thinking and trying to decided if we should or shouldn't, if we we felt drawn to something or like we were supposed to include it, we did.

When we had our precious bits of soon-to-be-recycled magazines all torn out, and had cleaned up the edges, we prayed again for God to show us where each piece of His puzzle should go. Then the Mod Podge insanity began.

When we were all done, we took turns sharing our boards. We shared the meaning of the things God spoke to us about throughout the process. We giggled at the things that seemed too silly to be real and embraced whatever meaning God had for them. 

We were so encouraged by the unity of some of the messages across all of our boards. God spoke to each one of us about our home. He gave each of us a picture of a cabin in the woods, some covered in and surrounded by snow. He told us that we would have a "new beginning" this year. 

He spoke to us about missions, vacations and adventures to come. He specifically gave us England and Ireland!!! That is so exciting to us because, as many of you know, we are preparing to one day go on a long-term mission to Ireland and a short-term mission to England. 

Provision and Breakthrough were also constant threads among our boards.

There was such incredible encouragement and hope for the year to come. 

Much of what the Lord was speaking to us was confirmation of words He has given us through other people. In fact, at our New Year's day church service, a dear friend had a word for us that breakthrough was coming. God had provision planned for us and that He wanted to encourage us in our faith.

So we begin 2017, a year tossing about storms of questions and uncertainty, with renewed joy, excitement to see the Lord's plan for our lives play out in His time, peace knowing we are safely in His loving hands, and hope in the certainty that God is good and He is faithful to keep His promises.

Be blessed, y'all!