I read an article today about some comments allegedly made by Gene Simmons. https://tv.yahoo.com/news/gene-simmons-tells-depressed-people-f-k-kill-154600164.html
Normally I could give a rat's rear what famous people say, but having known several people who have committed suicide and many more who have contemplated it, I think his words are thoughtless, cruel and quite simply wrong.
First, let me say that my heart breaks for the suffering endured in Nazi concentration camps. What those people endured is beyond comprehension. Their strength and resiliency are not only amazing but profoundly inspiring. Many of us know from experience that the pain and heartache we suffer in this life not only make us stronger, but they serve as a reminder that will encourage us in hardships to come. They alter our perspective, they help us see life outside of ourselves and help us to appreciate all the good along the way. I can only imagine how greatly their experiences changed their outlook on life.
That said, no one handles adversity and pain in the same fashion. What is a mere bump in the road for one person may truly be devastating to another. Things that are easy to overcome for you may seem insurmountable to me and vice verse. Who are we to belittle the suffering of another based on how we or others we know cope? Who are we to say they are weak, that their pain isn't just as real or just as big and who are we to say "Fuc# you, then kill yourself!"?!
His words demonstrate not only a complete lack of compassion and love for his fellow man, but an absence of genuine thought as to how those words could potentially impact someone. I agree with Nikki that as a public figure with a sizable fan base, many of whom could be fighting demons and considering suicide, his suggestion to just kill yourself could result in people actually doing just that. When people look up to others or see them as a role model or authority their words and actions tend to carry a significant amount of weight. People tend do what they see and believe what they are told. I would hope that Mr. Simmons does not truly intend for people to kill themselves because of his words, but I cannot speak to the intentions of his heart.
What I can say is... If you are hurting, if you are suffering, even if you feel that there is no hope and you or those you love would be better off if you were dead, please... PLEASE reach out for help! You are NOT alone, there is hope, people DO care enough to see you though this and your life IS valuable!!! Here is the suicide prevention # 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
You may not know me, and I may not know you, but that does not mean I
don't care about your suffering and your life and I believe that is true
of more people than you would expect.
To those who have never struggled with depression, with physical pain, with abuse, or with any kind of suffering so intense that you have considered suicide, please be mindful of your words. I hope that Mr. Simmons example will serve to open people's eyes and hearts to what others may be privately enduring and encourage us to think about what we say and how it may impact others. Consider how you would feel about it if the person you care most about in this life were fighting this battle. Have compassion on your fellow man and reach out to those in need. You never know who is in desperate need of even a smile...
Love and be loved, bless and be blessed, y'all!
Friday, August 15, 2014
Friday, August 1, 2014
Confessions of Nerd...
Today is our 16th wedding anniversary. My husband and I have been together for nigh on 20 years. We got married young, I was 18 and he was 21. Which for some reason gives people the idea that they can tell you what they are really thinking.. Wonderful things like:
A. You don't know what you are doing.
B. You are too young.
C. It won't last, you'll be divorced in 5-10 years. (And site statistics...)
D. You are going to grow apart.
Heck, they'll even ask you if you are pregnant and that's why you are getting married. They will even go so far as to tell you things like "No offense, I just don't want my son/daughter to get hurt" in your wedding card.
They'll insist that you are wasting your youth and that you will one day regret getting married "so young". They say you "need" to live on your own, party, sleep around, travel as a single, have a career... etc., etc.
They are wrong. Not everyone "needs" those things. Some people are ready to share their vacations and daily grind, their joy and heartache with someone else. In fact, some people actually look forward to the next great adventure with the person they love. It isn't less fun, less valuable or less enjoyable. Yes it is more work because you have to consider the needs and feelings of someone else, but you also have the comfort of knowing that the someone else is doing the same for you. Sure, some marriages don't last, and I have *no idea why with that kind of awesome support and encouragement! (*Sarcasm implied.) People will be people and when they *think they know better, they LOVE to make sure everyone knows.
No, marriage is not for everyone. There is a certain level of commitment and selflessness that is absolutely required to make a marriage work. I'm not implying that it is selfish to be single, rather that not everyone is ready to potentially change their life plans for sake of someone else. We don't give up our dreams, they change, they evolve with our relationship. The thing is, marriage is a risk. It is a gamble you take, that the person you are vowing to stand by, through all the great and horrible that life has to offer, will choose to continue to stand by you. We can never enter into such a commitment knowing 100% what the other person will do when faced with various situations. We look at our intended mate, we weigh our love for them, the love they show us, who we are and the possible outcomes and we decide whether or not we think the risk is worth the potential gain. The key is whether or not you are both willing to recommit daily and weather what ever storms life may throw at you. If you are both willing to work and not give up, you can reap the reward at the end of the rainbow. The rainbow that is only visible after the storm. Without the rain you won't find that rainbow and it's beauty and worth would not be as great if it came at not cost.
Our marriage has seen highs and really low lows. We have walked through just about every valley you can imagine, all those wonderful things people spoke over us... Yeah, we had to walk all that out. Thank you, by the way...
If it weren't for all the hard times, all the heartache and all the hard work, we would not know how to appreciate the good times, celebrate the victories and recognize the amazing blessing of unconditional love and the perfectly imperfect gift of each other.
A. You don't know what you are doing.
B. You are too young.
C. It won't last, you'll be divorced in 5-10 years. (And site statistics...)
D. You are going to grow apart.
Heck, they'll even ask you if you are pregnant and that's why you are getting married. They will even go so far as to tell you things like "No offense, I just don't want my son/daughter to get hurt" in your wedding card.
They'll insist that you are wasting your youth and that you will one day regret getting married "so young". They say you "need" to live on your own, party, sleep around, travel as a single, have a career... etc., etc.
They are wrong. Not everyone "needs" those things. Some people are ready to share their vacations and daily grind, their joy and heartache with someone else. In fact, some people actually look forward to the next great adventure with the person they love. It isn't less fun, less valuable or less enjoyable. Yes it is more work because you have to consider the needs and feelings of someone else, but you also have the comfort of knowing that the someone else is doing the same for you. Sure, some marriages don't last, and I have *no idea why with that kind of awesome support and encouragement! (*Sarcasm implied.) People will be people and when they *think they know better, they LOVE to make sure everyone knows.
No, marriage is not for everyone. There is a certain level of commitment and selflessness that is absolutely required to make a marriage work. I'm not implying that it is selfish to be single, rather that not everyone is ready to potentially change their life plans for sake of someone else. We don't give up our dreams, they change, they evolve with our relationship. The thing is, marriage is a risk. It is a gamble you take, that the person you are vowing to stand by, through all the great and horrible that life has to offer, will choose to continue to stand by you. We can never enter into such a commitment knowing 100% what the other person will do when faced with various situations. We look at our intended mate, we weigh our love for them, the love they show us, who we are and the possible outcomes and we decide whether or not we think the risk is worth the potential gain. The key is whether or not you are both willing to recommit daily and weather what ever storms life may throw at you. If you are both willing to work and not give up, you can reap the reward at the end of the rainbow. The rainbow that is only visible after the storm. Without the rain you won't find that rainbow and it's beauty and worth would not be as great if it came at not cost.
Our marriage has seen highs and really low lows. We have walked through just about every valley you can imagine, all those wonderful things people spoke over us... Yeah, we had to walk all that out. Thank you, by the way...
If it weren't for all the hard times, all the heartache and all the hard work, we would not know how to appreciate the good times, celebrate the victories and recognize the amazing blessing of unconditional love and the perfectly imperfect gift of each other.
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