That pretty much sums up our 2016.
God has come through for us so many times, in BIG ways. He
has never failed us or let us down. He may not have done things on our
timeline, but He did them nonetheless.
He has been so gracious, so kind, so loving and so, so
generous in His blessings.
We are facing two needs right now that sometimes feel like
mountains to us because we cannot scale them in our own strength. Yet, to God,
they are but a grain of sand. Small and insignificant in comparison to the
creator of the universe. Twice this week He has had to sit me down and remind
me that even in this, I can trust Him.
He knows what our needs are. He knows that we cannot provide
for them on our own. He knows we have tried so hard, we have done all that we
can think of to do, and even in our inability, He is there, ready to take care
of us. He has a great plan for us. His love and His gifts for us far exceed all
of the love or any gift that Steve or I could ever give our children. He is
excited for us to receive that which He has prepared for us, what He wants to
know is are we as excited as He is...
Am I so excited to see what He has planned that all of my
fears pale in comparison? Am I trusting Him and His perfect timing so much so
that I am not wasting my time in useless worry that produces nothing of
benefit? Am I so confident in His good character that I am rejoicing in this
trial because something great will come from it?
Well, am I?
That's the trick isn't it. It has been my experience that,
much like a child, I need to be reminded from time to time, that I cannot do
everything on my own. I need to slow down, and I need to really, truly trust.
When someone we trust tells us that they will do something
for us, do we run around like a chicken with its head cut off, worrying and
fretting over whether or not they will really do it? No. Why? Because we trust
them. At some point, they have proven themselves to be faithful in keeping
their word.
So why then do I sometimes have such a hard time trusting
God? Has He ever betrayed me? No. Has He ever let me down? No. Has He ever broken
a word of His promises to me? Never. His nature is the very definition of “trustworthy”.
God has, ever so gently, showed me that the problem is a flaw in my reasoning
rather than any failing in His nature. See, when I doubt God, when I have fear
that He won’t come through, that He won’t provide, or He won’t take care of us,
it is because I am transferring my negative feelings about myself, and negative
experiences with humanity, to Him.
God isn’t human. He doesn’t delight in punishing us. When He
disciplines us, He does so in love, so that we might be saved from further harm.
He isn’t a liar, there is only truth in Him. He doesn’t love us one second and
turn on us the next. His love is never-ending and completely unfailing. As much as I love my children, He loves each
one of us infinitely more. As much as I would sacrifice or give to my children,
He Has sacrificed and continues to give so much more.
God loves us.
He loves us so much that He made a plan to rescue us from
ourselves. He made a way for us to be free. It wasn’t a simple flick of the
wrist or snap of the fingers, no, it was much bigger and greater than that. It
didn’t come without a price or a cost to Him. He gave His only Son, free of
sin, free of blame, free of wrong doing, so that we, guilty of sin, bearing the
blame for all of our wrong doing, might be forgiven and set free. Jesus died so
we can live.
If God loves us enough to do something so, so great for us,
then He loves us enough to take care of the little things too.
When I sat down to do my Bible study and pray today, He
reminded of this. In all my fretting, He sat me down and He spoke to my heart. When
wasn’t sure I was hearing right, He assured me I was. When I got distracted, He
reminded me to focus. I can tell you this… The Bible isn’t just a fun “story”.
It isn’t a myth. It isn’t a tale meant for a different time. It is His words to
you and I. It is for us now.
He knows what our needs are and He knew that they were
weighing heavily on my heart. Our family has been praying, seeking wisdom,
seeking guidance and trying to trust God for provision with thankful hearts. I’ll
be honest, this is an area I have long wrestled with, truly letting go and
trusting. Believing for something good… for me. No, I am not worthy of all of
God’s love, His endless mercy and grace, His forgiveness, or any of the
blessings that He has given me. BUT, because of His incredible nature, because
of who He is and how much He loves us, that has absolutely nothing to do with
whether or not He is faithful to us. He knows our failings, He sees our short
comings, He is aware of our faults. He knows all of the secret thoughts and
feelings that we would never want anyone else to know that we have had. YET…
He loves us still.
He forgives us still.
He blesses us still.
Why?
Because He. Is. Good.
So, I will rejoice in
the trials; I will persevere; I will ask in faith without doubt; I will believe
in His goodness. His word is unfailing, His promises are unbroken, His love is
unending, His mercy and grace are free to us all.
-
James 1:2-8,
12, 17-18
