This is the "put up or shut up" moment.
Do I really believe what I profess?
Do I believe that God is GOOD?
Do I believe that He has a plan for us to prosper us and not to harm us?
Do I believe that He can do anything?
Do I believe that He loves us?
Do I believe that He only gives good gifts?
Is the God of the Bible my God or have I placed things before Him? Am I content to lose everything and have nothing left but Him?
Well, do I? Am I?
I know that I want to be, but am I really there?
"Faith is believing that what you hope for will happen."
What am I hoping for?
My plans, or God's?
That is the real question.
In the beginning, I was hoping for my plans. I was hoping my plans and God's were in alignment. I mean, why would He want to put us in what looks like a MUCH worse financial situation? Surely He wouldn't. So why are we here?!
We are here to walk through the "fire". To proclaim that our hope is in the Lord alone and that regardless of the outcome, He is good. We are here for our faith to be built.
As I was fighting back tears while trying to put into words how broken and ashamed I feel that I can have such great faith for others but not for myself when I know that God is good, a very wise man told me, that it is because I am not on the other side yet. Then he told me a story. One that I have heard and read at least a thousand times, but somehow managed to miss one very important detail... it wasn't about pre-existing faith, it was about the building of faith.
In the Bible, in the book of Daniel, chapter 3, is the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. Every time I have read this story, I have marveled at their faith. 17:"If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and He will deliver us from Your Majesty's hand." They faced being burned alive in fires of a furnace for not compromising their beliefs, and they stood tall and held on to God and did not bow to idols of the king. I have longed to believe, as they did, that if I had to step, or be thrown, into that furnace, I would be okay because the Lord would protect me. I was completely in awe of how unwavering their faith was.
What I missed was this:
18:"But even if He does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that w will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up."
They continue on declaring their resolve and refusal to yield to the king's demands, but that isn't the part I missed. It's those first six words... "But even if He does not...". In verse 17 they weren't stating their belief that God would save them from the fire, they were declaring their faith and hope in His ability to do so. Those are two very different things.
They didn't know from experience that He would save them. They simply believed that He could.
The man telling me this story told me that I am where they were. I am standing before this furnace, not knowing what/if God is going to do, all I can do is declare my faith in what He can do and stand firm in my resolve to declare His goodness regardless of the outcome.
My faith, my ability to believe that God will, is being built. I don't have to be there yet. For now I can rest in simply knowing that He can.
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