What Happens In the Waiting Room...

Have you ever been in life's waiting room?

"What do you mean 'life's waiting room'?"

It is a magical place of "need" where you have done all you can and now you must simply wait to see what God is going to do. Now, I know, the going advice is that if you want something you have to get out there and "make it happen". While I do agree that we have to do our part, making something happen isn't always possible. Sometimes, we simply have to wait. 

Sometimes circumstances are beyond our control. Sometimes we have done all that we can and there is nothing more we can do. Sometimes... what we need is a miracle.

We had recently been walking through a "valley", so to speak. We were facing circumstances that were far beyond our control. Meaning, we had done all we could on our part. We were applying all of the wisdom we could find and had taken all of the steps available on our end. We had come to the end of ourselves, that beautifully terrifying-yet-oddly-peaceful point where it was now fully in God's hands.

We were now waiting for a miracle.

It's funny how sometimes when God speaks to us, it comes in the most incredibly unlikely form. I had been stuck in a rut of disappointment and frustration with this seemingly immovable mountain. I had wrestled with the demons of fear and doubt and that insidious lie that maybe this was all there was for us. There were moments where I felt inclined to settle and just accept our "lot" in life, but I remembered God's promises for us. See, I know that He is faithful and He always does what He says He is going to do... it just might not be in our timing. ;)

In this situation, however, there was a time limit. Not one that I was giving Him, but one that the circumstances had imposed. So, I held on to my faith, and I did the one thing I knew how to do... I prayed. 

Okay, admittedly, "praying" might be a bit of a stretch, it was probably more like a child begging their parent for something they are in desperate need of.

Now, I know what you are thinking, why would I be "begging like a child" if I truly believed that God could and would provide? I'll admit it, sometimes I am totally "thee of little faith". Sometimes, the demons from my past like to crop their ugly little heads up and whisper things like "you don't deserve His provision"; "you have screwed up too much for God to bail you out again"; "you are getting what you deserve"; "you have earned this"; "face it, you failed again and now your family will suffer". While I can usually give them the one finger salute and valiantly tell them to "jog on", there are moments where I, in all my weak-glory, allow myself to think "what if?"... "what if it is all my fault and I am just reaping what I have sown?". Whether it be through foolishness and folly, or just blindly making the same mistake over again, what if it really is my fault and now my family has to live this out?

After a brief moment of doubt and self-pity, I pick myself up by boot straps and turn to the One who has the answers. I have made it a practice to always begin with gratitude and praise for two reasons. 1. If I am not thankful for what I do have, how on earth could I possibly ask for anything more? 2. If I can’t praise Him in the valley, no matter how big or small, it will be meaningless to praise Him when I stand atop the mountain. So, what if it really is all my fault? This is what I come back to, I know that God welcomes back all of us “prodigal sons” (Luke 15:11-32) with open arms and a love that we cannot comprehend. I believe that when we repent, in earnest, for our mistakes/sins, our loving Father extends His beautiful grace and wraps us in his merciful forgiveness. While I know that sometimes we do have to walk out the consequences of our choices, and that we can pass on curses to our future generations, when accusations come, it is typically to dash our hope, steal our joy and crush our spirit. The enemy doesn’t pull punches when it comes to keeping us from our destiny in Christ. That includes our receiving the promises of our Father. So when accusations come, I ask the Lord to show me the truth about the situation; I ask Him to show me where I have been in err; I ask for forgiveness for my part; I ask for wisdom going forward and peace as I walk through the valley.

“Okay then, so in what ‘incredibly unlikely form’ did God speak to you?”

Well, one day I was driving my kids hither and yon, to and from their various weekly activities. Now, I am totally a music person. I LOVE music. Not just one particular style, but music on whole. I also really like to crank the volume up. I am of the "if it's too loud, you must be too old" clan. ;) This particular day I happened to be listening to a "classic rock" station. (I know that is not much of a surprise if you know me, but I hadn't listened to it in months and was totally down for some serious rock.) So, a song come on... You know that song, "Another One Bites the Dust", by Queen? Yeah, that one. I hate that song. I don't know why, but I just always have.

Anywho, here I was, beg-praying to God, rock blasting in the background and BAM. God speaks to me. Not in a "big thundering voice from the clouds" kind of way, but in that subtle, tap on the shoulder, mom-lowering-her-voice to get your attention because it is “detrimental to your health” that you hear what she is saying, kind of way. It was one of those quiet whispers that hits you like a Mack truck. Actually, it sounded remarkably like Freddie Mercury...

“Are you ready, hey, are you ready for this?
Are you hanging on the edge of your seat?”

Me: …”What?”

God: “Well, are you?”

Me: Well, yeah, I'm ready!

God: “Are you hanging on the edge of your seat with excitement in anticipation of the blessing I am about to give you?”

Me: … *sudden realization* "Well, no, I hadn’t really thought of it that way.”

God: “That's right. You haven’t. You have been begging, in fear of no blessing coming, instead of hanging on the edge of your seat with excitement in anticipation of the blessing that I have promised you.”

Me: …

Wow… Just, wow.

It was one of those moments where words failed me, but that tiny whisper brought me to the profound realization that I had been looking at it all wrong. Instead of celebrating the promise of the blessing to come, I was letting fear and doubt steal my joy and my peace. It’s funny how we can be so focused on one aspect of our circumstances that we lose sight of the awesomeness of God’s promises for us. When we are in that valley, waiting for our promise, why are we creating our own suffering by embracing the fear of “what if it doesn’t come” instead of being filled with His joy and peace that surpasses our understanding and shouting “I am so excited! I can’t wait to see how God does this!”?

This has been a rather long valley for us, but I believe that He can do anything and I believe that He will do what He promised. <3

So thank you God, for knocking some perspective into me, like a gentle, loving Mack truck that I never saw coming. Thank you for speaking to me in ways I would never have dreamed of, but that totally opened my eyes and showed me a better way to “wait”.

Thank you, Freddie, for such a wonderfully annoying song that the Lord could use at just the right moment to tell me exactly what I needed to hear. ^_^

Have a blessed day, y’all! <3