You Know, It's Funny...

How things work out.

I have been talking a lot this year about the way God has used Health & Fitness to transform my heart and my thinking. I have been so incredibly blessed to work for a company that puts individuals over sales; what is best for the customer over what is best for the bottom line; works so hard to show it's employees that they are appreciated and valued, and shares faith openly while encouraging and inspiring others to believe in themselves and reach for their dreams.

This has been an amazing journey! God has been showing me that I do have value, that I am capable of doing big things, that He has a plan for me and my life that is good far beyond anything I could have imagined, and that I can do anything with Him. 

Last year it was prophesied over my husband and I that this year would be the year that the chains and bondage of struggle and lack would be broken; this would be the year of restoration of what has been taken from us; this is the year that we would have breakthrough in many areas of our lives. Gone are the things of the past that held us down, kept us locked into stagnation, and the lies that told us we were unworthy and unable. 

We grabbed a hold of those promises and have contended for them, believed for them and thanked God for them. We have been really feeling like this year we will be living out those promises. 

Sometimes confirmation comes in big ways, like our Pastor declaring that this year is a year of possessing the promises of God for our church and a guest speaker having the same word from God. Other times it comes in the most unexpected of ways, like customers you haven't even met or support and encouragement from people who don't know what you are walking through. Still other times it is a quiet whisper letting you know that you are doing good. Sunday God confirmed something that has been on my heart for over a year, and He did it in a very practical way. He did it with a simple, printed, notecard.

For quite a while now I have been feeling like it is no longer time for me to sit quietly by and just "do my part" behind the scenes. I have been feeling like I am supposed to step up and take on the fight. Now, that doesn't mean that I have to stop doing my part behind the scenes, but rather that it is time for me to also stand up, to speak up, to let my voice be heard, to share my testimony and to help others. God has given me many scriptures encouraging me to "rise up from the ashes" of the pain, lack, and worthlessness of my past and take on the giants that are trying to keep me and others fighting the same battle down.

This is something I have talked about with my husband and something I have prayed about for months and months. So when I was sitting in church and our Pastor said they had a small cards with a simple saying printed on them, that we were to take home with us and put up somewhere to encourage us to fight, I was excited. I felt like the timing was so perfect. I needed this little nudge from God, letting me know that I am on the right path and that this is going to indeed be a year of victory.

God loves to encourage us. He is our hope, a hope that never comes up empty. He is faithful, He keeps His promises. 

Be encouraged! This is a new season. It is a season of overcoming. It is a season of hope. It is a season of restoration. It is a season of promise fulfillment. It is a season of VICTORY!

Let's go kill some giants, y'all! ^_^

Bless and be blessed, y'all!

It's Time to Change...

I was scrolling through my Facebook feed yesterday and this image stopped me cold. 

I felt a rush of emotions cascading through me like a raging river about to crest it's banks. I felt it slam into my chest with such force that it took my breath away. I felt...

Pain. 

So much pain for the precious little girl in that image. Now, I realize that this was a staged image, but what it is depicting is so very real. I have thought and felt exactly as that little girl more times than I can count, and it was not limited to a "phase" or an age. I have struggled with body image for as long as I can remember. I have looked in the mirror and seen:

"UGLY"

"FAT"

"DISGUSTING"

"GROSS"

"TOO FLAT"

"SQUISHY"

"FLABBY"

"SCARRED"

"NASTY"

"GARBAGE"

"NOT ENOUGH"

"NOT GOOD ENOUGH"

"IF YOU HAD SURGERY FOR... THEN YOU WOULD BE PRETTY"

"IF ONLY YOU COULD LOOK LIKE..."

"IF ONLY YOU COULD BE MORE LIKE..."

"YOU. ARE. WORTHLESS."

All of those words had been spoken to me at various points in time by various people but they held the most weight when I stood before that mirror, allowed myself to see what they saw, and told myself that those lies were my truth.

Body shaming is the insidious beast that has quietly slithered into our thoughts and hearts via strategic ad campaigns and slick photo editing. We are taught from a very young age what we "should look like". We are spoon fed standards of beauty that are connected to a person's ascribed worth and value. But whose standards are they? Are they our innate perceptions? Are they absolute truth? 

NO.

They are the unrealistic imaginings of the few spread about with the intention of creating a "need" for products. Imagine if we taught girls that they were wonderfully made and that their bodies are amazing, regardless of what their measurements are! What if we celebrated the diversity of skin tones, hair colors, eye colors, feature shapes, sizes and traits? What if we loved who we are on the inside more than we cared about what we "should look like" on the outside? What if every woman celebrated the other women around them instead of tearing them down? What if LIFE was the definition of beauty?

What would that world look like?

Earlier in the day I had read a fantastic post by Sarah Koppelkam on "The Cosmic Dancer" page, ( https://www.facebook.com/thecosmicdancerpage/?fref=photo ), about how we talk to our daughters about their bodies. Her thoughts could not be more on point. How we talk to our daughters, even our sons about their bodies and what we show them about how we see our own bodies or the bodies of others sets the framework for how they will view themselves and others. 

I wish I could turn back time in this regard, I wish I had understood then what I know now, but alas, the damage is done.

"How so?"

See, my husband and I have been leading a group at our church to help people heal from the emotional wounds that led to addiction and unhealthy eating and living. This is something that is very dear to my heart because of my experiences in life. It is my passion to help others find freedom from the lies that have caused them so much pain and discover a true love for themselves, regardless of where they are at in their journey. It has been my experience that we will not be able to live truly healthy lives until we can approach our health from the standpoint of loving the body we have been given. 

Last night was the first night that our children got to attend the new children's program, that has been incorporated into our church's adult recovery program, the purpose of which is to take our children through the same process of healing that we are going through. All three of our children left class excited to share with us the things that they struggle with that they want to pray about. They took turns going down the list and telling us which ones they struggle with "rarely, sometimes, and often". What my daughter said next crushed my heart into a million pieces...

She read off "Obsession with appearance:" and said "Always." Followed by "I look in the mirror and think my face is so ugly. It's horrible." There was a brief moment of silence and she said "I want to be pretty."

My baby. My precious, beautiful girl...

That image from earlier and all of the things I had been reading about how we should talk to our children about their bodies and how we should model body image, all came crashing back and I felt my heart just sink. 

I am, at least in part, responsible for what she is feeling and seeing. I gave her the example of self-hatred. I showed her how to pick apart her physical attributes and devalue everything that makes her unique. I spoke those same words about myself in front of her. I showed her that beauty was about those rubbish standards that I had accepted from the world around me. I failed to show her her own value and worth through example. 

Something HAS to change, and it has to happen NOW. Damage has been done, but it is not irreversible. It cannot be wiped away with words or compliments. It will take work, it will take truth and it will take time, but it CAN be done. Going forward there will have to be new information, new examples, and absolute transparency. We will have to walk this road together, but we will come out beautiful new creations on the other side.

The best thing I can do now is be open and honest with my children. I can share with them how wrong my thinking was. How broken that thinking made me. I can show them through different actions, different words, different attitudes, a better way to look at our bodies. I can teach them by example how to truly love the body they were given and appreciate the diversity of form that so richly enhances humanity.
 
I want my daughter to be able to celebrate beauty of the people around her because she is confident of her own beauty and worth. I want my sons to look at women and not judge their value based upon how they look in comparison to a doctored image. I want all of them to value their health and fitness not because they want to look a certain way, or wear a certain size, but because their body houses their most precious gift... their soul.

It is time for us to put our collective foot down and say "no more" to the hateful concept of body shaming. It is time for us to take back our bodies from the judgement of others. It is time for us to reclaim our self-esteem and find our value and worth in beauty of who we are, not how we look. It is time for us to look in the mirror and appreciate all of the quirks that make us beautifully different! It is time for us to be free from the lie that we aren't good enough. It is time for CHANGE.

Before we can pass that change on to our children and the people around us, we have to make that change in our own hearts. It is tough. It will be a battle. In the end, it will be worth it!

Please know that if you are struggling with this, you are NOT alone. I am here to walk this road with you. If you are struggling with low self-esteem, self-hatred, or body image, please feel free to reach out to me at: https://www.facebook.com/kate.conder or email me at: blesswitheachbreath@gmail.com I want to be here to support and encourage you.

No matter what magazines, images, labels, ads, or others say... 

You are BEAUTIFUL. 

You are LOVABLE. 

You are PRICELESS.

More Than Just Fun...

While we were waiting we met up with our friends and went to Downtown Disney. We let the kids run around window shopping all the while calling out what rides they were going to go on first and how they couldn’t wait to go to the park. It was so awesome to see their excitement and their faith as they boldly claimed all of their fun, yet at the same time it was rough. The enemy was working overtime trying to create doubt and steal our joy. I went through all of the emotions… happiness at seeing their joy; joy at seeing their faith; fear in not knowing how or when it would all work out; doubt in myself and the decision we made; comfort when I recalled all of the confirmations we had been given; peace when I thought of God’s promises in the Bible. Believe me, it was a roller-coaster all of its own.

At one point, our kids looked back at us with huge smiles, excited about something that I can’t even recall, and I felt the sting of tears. Their little faces morphed from a look of joy to a look of confused concern and they said, “Mommy, it’s gonna be okay. God is gonna provide. We are going to go to the park!” My heart absolutely melted. How could I doubt when they were so certain? Again, God was telling me to trust Him. So I did.

We planned to take the kids over to where our friends were staying so they could all go swimming together. On the way to our hotel to pick up our swimsuits something happened…

We were just about to call back and accept the offer for another night of hotel when we got a message and another call.

It was the answer to all of our prayers. It was the provision we had so needed. Even though we had been praying for it; even though we had believed He could do it; even though we trusted that He would do it… we were absolutely astounded.

Through 6 separate people, God provided our park tickets, the remainder of our hotel and return trip gas money! At the last minute, when we had nothing left to give, nothing left that we could do, no way to make anything happen, God stepped in and provided. He put our family on the hearts of others. He made a way where we saw none. He provided exactly what we had planned for, but in a completely different way!

Y’all, I have never felt so incredibly loved and so unbelievably blessed in all my life! We were surrounded by so many people that loved us enough to bless us so immensely. God cared enough about us that He put those people in our lives, He put us on their hearts and He blessed us doubly with the desires of our hearts and people who will never know how much they mean to us! 

We have done life on our own for so long… this is the most overwhelming feeling. I cannot possibly thank them enough. There are no words to express how much their love, support, encouragement and kindness means to us. <3

We were so excited to update everyone that had been praying and to tell our friends when got over there to swim! The kids could hardly contain their excitement! We were going to Disneyland the next morning, just exactly as we had originally planned! God is so good and His love is amazing!

To emphasize the point, He blessed us again! See, Disney has these trading pins. You go around the park and there are pin traders where you can trade one of your pins for one of theirs. Any pin, you can trade for it. The kids loved doing that the last time we were here, but this time we had been so caught up with trying to take care of the big things that we never got any ordered. It wasn’t even something we had taken the time to think about. The kids had packed 2 or 3 pins from home that they were willing to trade just so they could have some fun with that, but then God provided an extra blessing just because… He loves us. The parents of our friends blessed our family with 10 pins each for trading! It was such a sweet experience, watching the last little detail fall so surprisingly into place. It was the cherry on top of the mountain of a sundae that God had blessed us with.

Moreover, and honestly, more importantly, in taking this leap of faith, our children got to see God do what He does in a BIG way. Their faith was strengthened and they got to personally experience His provision. It even brought us closer as a family. We prayed, we contended, we worshiped, we believed and we stepped out together. 

So, why did I share all of this?

To glorify Him and to encourage you. Don’t protect yourself or your children from God’s blessings. Don’t limit Him just because we are limited. See, God isn't small. He cannot be put into our tiny boxes. He is so much bigger and grander than anything we can understand! He loves giving His children good gifts and there is no better gift than the hope we have in Him that comes from the building of our faith.

 

Don’t give up. Ask, knock, pray and then… pray some more. Don’t pray with just asking, pray with gratitude, expectation, faith and receiving. BELIEVE that He loves you so much more than you can imagine and that He delights in giving YOU good gifts! HE. IS. GOOD. and He loves you GREATLY!

"Are you ready? Are you ready for this? Are you hanging on the edge of your seat?"

GO!

After a great deal of prayer, talking with our leaders and several others, we felt we were supposed to trust God to take care of the finances and just go.

We had no idea when the funds would be available, but we packed our bags, packed up our car, loaded everyone in it and drove over 1,000 miles in faith. 

It’s funny how things work out. We arrived at our destination 1 day early. This meant paying an extra night of rent. The money was not in our account yet, so we called about it and were advised it could be there as early as Monday morning or as late as the next week. We weren’t sure what to do. We had made the trip in faith and were believing for the provision. What we did know was that God is faithful and He can do anything. We had our food money and return trip gas money, so, we prayed about it and we went ahead and payed for our first night.

Now, paying for that first night took money away from our food budget, but we believed that IF we were gonna do this, we needed to trust and that meant completely. Sometimes we have to step out of the boat to experience the miracle of walking on water. God gave us little confirmations along the way. For example, when we paid that first night there was a mix up with the room and the manager comped us the entire week of parking and fees. Why would we need the parking and fees comped if we weren’t going to be staying? ;) If you pay close attention, you will see that God speaks to us, even through circumstances.

The next morning we checked our accounts. No money. It was Sunday and it was unlikely that the funds would be added to our account that day. Monday was supposed to be our first day in the park. We came down with friends and we had planned our days to coincide and we still had no money for the admission. So, we updated everyone that was praying and believing with us and we decided to make the absolute best of our day. We went and walked around Downtown Disney, we went swimming, twice, we hung out with our friends. We had spent most of our food money on the last night’s rent and had spent the rest on the rent for Sunday night.

“Why would you do something so foolish?! You have children that are depending on you!”

Like I said, it’s funny how things work out. Three months ago I decided to finally start going to our monthly women’s meetings. An incredibly wise woman said something that struck a chord with me. She was talking about how as parents, when our children want something, we tend to do everything we can (within reason) to provide it. We don’t just tell them to pray and ask God for it, then sit back and watch how He provides it. We are willing to do that for ourselves, but not our children. Why? What are we protecting them from? God is unfailing and He loves to give us good gifts. Why are we keeping them from seeing God miraculously provide for them? That is where our faith is strengthened. She said “Don’t protect your children from God.” So what better way to help them build their faith than to include them in this with us?! We did something we have never done before because of those words she said. See, even though I didn’t know it at the time, God had led me to that experience to give me the encouragement to do what we would need to do in this situation. We shared the truth with them. We didn’t shield them from the obstacles that we were facing, instead we faced them together. They knew our situation. They knew what we were believing for. They prayed with us. They believed.

Sure, it was hard. It was really hard. In fact, it was the most terrifying thing I have ever done. As a parent and as a person, I have always done it on my own. I have always exhausted all means within my own ability before going outside for help. Paying this next night of hotel would exhaust our means. We had no way of knowing when the money would come. We were not just praying for God to push through the financing through the means we had in place, we were asking for miraculous provision.

“From where?”

That is the best part. We had NO idea where from. We simply prayed and trusted.

“So you knew He would provide and you never doubted?”

I would love to answer “Yes, we had no doubt at all.” but that would not be completely honest. See, we are human after all and faith doesn’t always come without a fight. Sure, we had those lies and doubts whispering in our ears… “What if He doesn’t provide?” “Did we come all this way for nothing?” “Did we do the right thing?” But at this point we had no hope, no options, nothing outside of God and His ability, and He definitely has the ability! ;) So, we chose to trust. We chose to believe. For the first time, we pressed in and didn't give up.

We had been wondering what we were gonna do for food that day when a friend invited us to check something out. It was a short presentation and we would get a $100 gift card just for doing it. We were super excited. We figured we could either use that to extend our hotel another night or for food for the rest of the trip. We even had a fantastic lunch provided for us just for attending. That was one meal off the list of expenses. ;)

That afternoon we got a phone call, it was an offer to pay for one night of hotel, as a loan, to get us by for another day. We said we would pray about it and call back. In the meantime, God was busy working on something BIG!