Being a Mom is the Hardest Thing I Have Ever Had to Do.

I am not particularly fond of control. I don't really like all that extra responsibility. So why is it that I have the urge to take on the impossibly huge responsibility of keeping my kids safe?

As a Mom, there is little I wouldn't do for my children. I would give anything and everything to secure their safety and preserve their precious innocence as long as possible. 

There is nothing I want more than to protect my babies, except one thing... God's plan for their lives. 

And there's the rub. See, sometimes we can get so consumed with protecting our children from pain that we end up placing our own will before God's plan because we are letting fear drive us instead of letting go and trusting Him. 

There are few things harder than making sure that we have raised our children to be able to be okay without us. One of those things is watching them face their own battles. 

Our children are going to get hurt. They are going to fall. They are going to make mistakes. We cannot protect them from everything, no matter how hard we try. There will be giants and they are going to have to face those giants with just a sling and a stone. But they won't be alone. God will be right there with them in those moments when we cannot.

Today, we had to watch our son step into the ring with a giant we were hoping he would never have to face. Our hearts ache with longing to fix it for him, to take it away, to protect him from it, but we can't. 

The reality is, someday they will have to go out in to the world and and stand on their own two feet. We can't always fight the fight for them, but we can teach them how to fight, to not settle, to never give up and show them that we will be there to stand and fight with them. 

When they get hurt, we can teach them to run from it, to fear it, or we can teach them how to work through the pain so they can find healing.

When they fall, we can try to keep them from ever falling again, or we can show them how to get back up, shake off the dust and take the next step. 

When they make their mistakes, we can chastise them, teach them how to make excuses and shift the blame, or we can be there to help them take responsibility, realize that we all make mistakes and show them we still love them.

What kind of Mom do I want them to remember? 

One that is driven by fear, spending all of my time trying to control everything in a vain attempt to make sure they never get hurt or have to take responsibility? 

One that relentlessly chastises and shames them leaving them feeling guilty and worthless? 

One that keeps them "safe" from everything, only to leave them unable to cope with the things that life will throw at them? 

In a "perfect world", they would never get hurt and they would always make the right choices, but we don't live in a perfect world. 

So I want to be there to teach them how to trust God, face their giants, be resilient, responsible for their choices, honest and transparent, humble enough to realize they may not always be right yet still have self confidence, to see the potential in themselves and in others, be encouraging, courageous, and who they were created to be.

I want to be a Mom that puts God's plan ahead of her own and truly trusts God to take care of her babies.