Fear.

It all boils down to fear. Fear of failure, of rejection, of abandonment, of judgement...

Fear is a LIE can control us if we allow it to and it will rob us of the peace, love, joy and purpose that God intends for us.

I saw this posted on Facebook today. I don't know if anyone else can relate to this.

I am not sure that I would say this has been my greatest "fear", but rather that it has been the greatest lie that I have ever embraced about myself. That I am detestably flawed, utterly worthless and wholly unlikable, never mind lovable.

I have come a long way from where I started. God has done so much work in my heart and in my thoughts/beliefs about myself. Most days those lies don't enter my thoughts, but there are days where I still struggle to imagine my husband seeing any value in me and I can't for the life of me imagine how or why God loves me as much as He does.

---BUT---

I do finally believe that God loves me and that my husband doesn't hate me. ;) The poor man. Honestly, he works so hard to show me he loves me, but sometimes those old lies and past experiences rear their ugly head and in fear, I doubt the possibility. Not because of him, but because of those old false beliefs.

The enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy but I refuse to let him gain any ground in my life, my relationships, my family or my purpose.

Satan is an a-hole and he can SUCK IT.

All of those little "flaws" we see in the mirror, they aren't flaws. They are the little bits and pieces of precisely what makes us perfectly unique.

Sure, we are all broken in different ways. We all have our weaknesses and destructive coping behaviors that we wrestle with, BUT that doesn't define who we were *created to be* and who God has called us to be.

Old wounds CAN be healed.
Destructive behaviors CAN be changed.
Lies CAN be replaced with TRUTH.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." - John 10:10

"Jesus looked at them and said, 'With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" - Matthew 19:26

Two years ago, my husband and I were asked to be part of the team to start up our church's new Recovery Program. At first, I couldn't see why they would ask me. What could I possibly have to offer? 

I am so thankful that God brought us to "Set Free" and introduced The Genesis Process into our lives. Without these tools and His help, I would still be buried under the rubble of lies and unable to see any value in my existence.

Since then, this has become my passion. Seeing people Set FREE. With Jesus, there is real healing, and there is true and lasting freedom.

"So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." - John 8:36

If you struggle with fear, shame, self-worth, body image, old wounds, destructive behaviors... whatever it is, it is NOT too big or too terrible for God and you don't have to walk through it alone.

I am more than happy to be here for you. To walk with you, to support you, or even to just listen. 
Please, feel free to contact me on Facebook: fb.com/Kate.ThisGirlsLife 
or email me: kate.thisgirlslife@gmail.com

It may not seem possible today, but the TRUTH is, you are priceless, you are perfectly unique, you are LOVED.

Be blessed, my friends. <3

God's Plan or My Will?

As I have been studying the story of Sampson, in the book of Judges in the Bible, I have found myself wondering...

How many times have I robbed myself of the fullness of God's incredible plan for me because I sought first my own selfish desires?

If I am being honest, there are times when I am not unlike a stubborn child, wanting what I want when I want it. Completely unwilling to relent or even wait. Flat out refusing to take "no" for an answer. In those moments, when I was asserting my independence and declaring the sovereignty of my own will and plans, what amazing things was I rejecting without even an inkling as to what they might be... What have I stubbornly chosen to miss out on?

As a mom, there have been so many times when my children have asked for something and I have told them "no" or "not now" because I knew that something better was in their future or that the timing was not quite right for them to be able to fully appreciate it.

When the kids were little, I'm talking toddler little, those exchanges would be accompanied by some form of pleading, pouting and possibly crying from the child. As they got older, their reactions transitioned from anger and world-crushing-devastation, to disappointment and pouting, and now that they are older they will often respond with acceptance. 

They have learned something along the way. They have learned that sometimes what they want in the moment isn't what they truly want. They know that waiting won't kill them. In fact, they have learned that when the right time comes they will be really excited when they finally get it, or they may no longer even want it because they have discovered something better. 

I wonder how many times God has been trying to give me something better or do something amazing in my life but, driven by my internal focus and the emotions I was feeling at the moment, I rejected what He was offering.

Even as an adult, it can be hard to let go of what I want. Sometimes, I feel like I am losing something or like I will be missing out on something. There are times when I even feel a fair amount of fear in letting go. It can be hard to see past the things I want, the things I think I need, or my great plans, in order to be able to submit to God's will and embrace the unknown until the time when I can finally clearly see the awesome plan that God has for me.

All I know is, that I don't want to do what Sampson did. 

I don't want to choose my, often disappointing, plans instead of God's incredible design for my life. I don't want the most powerful part of my testimony to be my death. I want my life to be the testimony of how one girl continued to choose to put her faith, her trust and her hope in God's hands, no matter how crazy, scary or foolish it seemed. I want to live out the fullness of my purpose according to His plan. I want to live for Him with reckless abandon and love greatly, just as He loves me. 

I want to set my will and my plans aside.

I want to embrace God's plan.

I want to surrender to His will.

I want to take the leaps of faith. 

I want to live the life I was created for.

I want to experience all that God has for me.

I don't want to waste time and I don't want regrets. I want to choose His plan. <3

"God's plans will always be greater and more beautiful than all your disappointments."

Be blessed, my friends.

Answered Prayers and Miracles.

Our God is a God of miracles and He is faithful to answer us when we seek Him in prayer.

Sometimes the answer to our prayers is "no". Y'all, I have wrestled more with God's "no"s than a two year old that wants a cookie. 

God: "No."

Me: "But whyyyyyyyy? I need this! What am I going to do? Please, please, pleaseeeeeeee...". 

Yup, I can be REALLY mature when God's will doesn't line up with my own.

We have been told "no" to some pretty big prayer requests over the years and we have had to reconcile the disappointment we felt with the truth that God's will and plan are perfect. His plans for us are far BETTER than our plans for ourselves. That doesn't make "no" easy, but it gives us hope and the faith to trust Him, even when we can't see a way.

That was where we were at with the house. We were fighting the fear of the unknown to be able to put our trust in God's plan.

We didn't know what we were going to do when we sold the house. We did know a few things.

1. The house needs w.o.r.k. to be ready to sell. Work costs money. We don't currently have the funds in the bank and we have no idea where we would get the funding we need to make the necessary repairs. Which in turn take time. Time we didn't have.

2. When we sat down and went over the numbers, what we owe vs. what we would likely sell the house for, there wasn't much if anything left to put in the bank when it was all said and done. We would probably be walking away with very little cash if any.

3. Rent is twice the cost of our mortgage payment which we cannot afford on our budget. So, given all of the information available to us, that would leave us squarely in the "homeless" category.

So what do we do? 

We trust.

Seven letters.

We trust.

And... We pray.

We have been praying for the last year that 2017 would be the year we would be "debt free". It is our dream to be able to free up our income to be used to bless others. We want to be able to help those in need. We want to support missions. We want to use what God has enabled us to earn to show others HIS love in a tangible way. 

Our debt consists of our mortgage, the money we owe the people that have helped us, and our student loans. Even though there are no credit cards, car loans or other debts, the debt we have adds up and it isn't a sum that we can pay off with our own income or resources in the next 10 months. 

I know, it sounds crazy to be praying for something that there is no way we could possibly do on our own, but then that is the point of prayer, isn't it? We are asking for God's help with something we cannot take care of on our own. We are praying BIG.

So, why not add keeping our home to the list of the "impossible"?

We started praying for a miracle that would allow us to stay in our home, and if that wasn't God's plan, we prayed that God would bring us a new one that we could afford.

Regardless of the outcome, we made the decision to trust that God was not taking us from struggle to worse. We have been camped on Jeremiah 29:11-13 for the last two years and we held on to that promise even tighter as our list date approached.

A funny thing happens when you trust God. He comes through. When we surrender our will to His, we get to see that His plans for us really are GOOD. 

One night as we were praying as a family...

God gave us a word. We had been praying for Him to bless the sale of our home, that it would sell for more than we could imagine, and that He would bring us a new home. God told us that He would bring us a new home, a home that has all of the special little features that we have always dreamed of. One that would be on land, by a creek or river, that would have enough rooms for each of our kids to have their own bedroom and hopefully more than one bathroom. ;) 

BUT

We would not be selling this home. He told us that He would be faithful to keep His promises, (the prophetic words that were spoken over our home just a handful of months ago), that this home is ours and that it would be a "lighthouse" for others. He showed us that this home will be a place of refuge and hope for people in need and a place to stay for missionaries when they are home. 

We were instantly filled with joy and excitement to see what God was going to do and this hope that He had given us built up our faith to truly believe that He really would do something amazing with this storm.

Enough backstory... Get to the NEWS!!!

Two weeks ago God did 3 things. 3 amazing, incredible, impossible to imagine things. 

God fulfilled His promises.

He fulfilled two promises with one HUGE blessing. First, He fulfilled the prophetic word given to us months ago by another person that God would bring us the money we owed so we could pay back the couples that had helped us. Second, He fulfilled His word to us that we would keep our home. 

Though the love and generosity of two very dear people, who we could never, ever thank enough, we were given the money to pay the back what we owed. Which in turn enabled us to keep our home. 

We were just so overwhelmed with gratitude. Gratitude to the people that loved us so much that they would give us such a great blessing and to God for His faithfulness and the goodness of His plans.

Last week, we repaid the two couples. It was such an incredibly amazing feeling to be able to do what we could never have done on our own. 

There are no words to adequately express how blessed and how thankful we are to have received this blessing.

While we were still marveling at how this all turned out, God went and did another impossible thing...

He made something we were told "could never happen"... happen! 

When we bought our home, we used a "First Time Home Buyers Program" that essentially paid our 20% down payment. It didn't accrue interest and we didn't have to make payments on it. We would simply pay it off when we sold/paid off the house. 

Well, (forgive all the back story, but I want to make sure I communicate just how crazy amazing God is), several years ago, my husband had some medical needs. Our insurance said the treatment would be pre-approved so we went ahead with it. It turned out that it didn't get approved. We were on the hook for the entire bill. 

He wasn't making much money at the time and we had no room in our budget to even make small payments. Every dime had to go toward basic necessities.

As a result, we received a notice of intent to garnish his wages to pay the bill. 

Like I said before, we had no room in our budget to cover a small payment, let alone what they were asking to take out of his check. 

He was already working full-time at a new job and with his health concerns, he couldn't just get a second job to try and cover it. The kids were younger and fully home schooled at the time. The cost of childcare so I could get a job would far outweigh the income I would bring in.

Long story short, we filed bankruptcy.

If you have ever filed bankruptcy you know the stigma that is attached to it. You know the judgment that others pass on you. You know the shame, the guilt, the disappointment, the self-judgement... It wasn't a decision we made lightly and it wasn't what we "wanted" to do. 

Unfortunately, at the time, we didn't see any other way to be able to continue to provide for our children. So we did what we felt we had to do.

We opted to keep our home, so we would still be responsible for our mortgage, the down payment loan, and our student loans.

Well, two days after we got to tell the people that helped us that we could pay them back, we got a message from our real estate agent telling us that, by some crazy miracle, that down payment loan had actually been discharged with our bankruptcy!

We no longer owed that money! We had equity in our home that we hadn't known about!

So not only were we able to keep our home, but...

In a matter of days, God erased $40,000 of debt!

As impossible as all of this seemed just a few months ago, God worked all things for good to answer our prayers in ways we could never have imagined or dreamed of.

I can't tell you how completely overwhelmed we are with gratitude, joy, hope and faith for the things yet to come.

Let me just say this...

Our God is a God of miracles and He is faithful to answer us when we seek Him in prayer.

No prayer is too big, no request is too great, NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE with God. 

I hope that in sharing our testimony, you are encouraged to believe God for the things you need and even abundantly MORE. <3

Be blessed, y'all. <3

An Open Letter to The People Body Shaming Lady Gaga

I am... 

SICK. OF. THIS.

People, body shaming is NEVER okay!!!!

Period.

I do not understand all of the hate and judgement in this world.

It is disgusting that so many women, and men, can come together to "fight for women's rights" and at best turn a blind eye to the constant barrage of body shaming that women are facing in our culture. At worst, they are even participating in it. 

As a Health & Fitness professional, and a leader of women's Self-Esteem and Sexuality Restoration groups, I see the results of this kind of abuse all the time. This is something I am deeply, deeply passionate about. Body image and self-esteem are two things I have struggled greatly with and it is the cry of my heart to be able to help see women freed from the bondage of verbal, mental and emotional abuse in the areas of their bodies and their worth. 

In the past, when stories like this have surfaced in the media, I have not been silent on this topic and I won't be now.

I have thought a great deal about what I want to say, and it boils down to this...

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Please note the excessive use of exclamation marks. The purpose of which is to denote the intensity of the passion in my statement.

STOP.

4 letters. That is all it takes.

STOP.

There is a wise saying that has been passed down for generations...

There is a difference between honesty, (hard truths), and verbal abuse. I am saddened by the need for some people to tear other people down in order to "feel better" about themselves. I am sorry for whatever pain you suffered that makes you feel that the destruction and judgement of others is necessary for your own emotional healing. 

There are so many better, healthier, kinder, and frankly more effective ways to go about bolstering your self-esteem. 

What are you talking about?

Ah yes, I'm sorry. I just jumped right in with no explanation as to what I was talking about.

Lady Gaga. 

The Super Bowl Halftime show.

Body Shaming.

The insane and wholly inappropriate tirade of abusive comments about how "fat" she is and how "disgusting" her "stomach flab" was is not only grossly abusive it is ridiculous. 

Seriously?!

First of all, who are you to judge or shame her for the way her body looks?

Second, what could you possibly hope to gain?

Personally, I think she looks FANTASTIC. She was physically active while singing and she sounded and looked great doing it. 

Can somebody explain to me how it was anyone's right to speak about her body in a negative way?

Yes. We have the "freedom of speech". BUT that does not cover or extend to verbal abuse, mental abuse or emotional abuse. All of which apply in this case. 

Making someone feel bad about themselves, ashamed of their body, and like something is wrong with them or not "good enough" about them is abuse. Period. The result of which can be lifelong and devastating.

This "body shaming" problem has become an epidemic in which participants take pride in the vile nature of their hateful remarks and even go so far as to boast about it. 

Y'all...

It is NOT okay.

For. Any. Reason.

Let me just say this...

STOP IT!

Maybe one more time, just in case it was missed...

STOP.

Be kind. 

Be encouraging. 

Use your words to motivate and inspire. 

Speak kindness. 

Speak healing. 

Speak LIFE. 

If you can't...

Do yourself and those around you a favor and please, don't speak.

To Lady Gaga and all the ladies out there that have been torn down for the amusement of others...

YOU ROCK! 

You are strong. 

You are beautiful. 

You are brave. 

You are perfectly unique. 

You are valuable. 

You are loved. 

Ignore the hate. It speaks infinitely more of the orator/commenter than it ever could of you.

Bless and be blessed, my friends.