Women's Rights and Feminism...

Throughout this crazy election season and particularly in the last few weeks, I have had several female friends ask me "What side are you on?" in regard to "Women's Rights" and "Feminism".

My first thought is "Why are things always divided into 'sides'?"

My response is to ask them to please define the "sides" so I can give them an informed response.

Having been asked this question so much, I figured I would write my thoughts out here. 

Let me start by saying that I completely agree with the sentiment of a friend of mine. Men and women are uniquely different and that isn't a bad thing. 

It is a good thing. 

It is part of what gives each one of us our own set of unique skills and abilities, talents and perspectives, so that we can make a contribution to the world and the lives of others. 

Second, I want to say that "differences" doesn't make one more or less valuable than anyone else, it makes each and every one valuable because they cannot be replaced.

Generally, when I ask for clarification, it comes down to two deeply polarized choices: Are you "For Women" or "For Their Abuse & Oppression".

Personally, I find those options to be a tad ridiculous. 

I mean, really? 

Can't we be "For Humanity" and the dignity, respect and value of each and EVERY life? Why do we have to value one over the other and why is it bad to value the lives of men as well?

Having a husband, two sons, two brothers, a father, and a plethora of male friends and family, I have to say that to me, their lives and rights matter just as much as mine, just as much as my daughter's, mother's, sister's and female friend's and family's.

A friend of mine made a post about the differences between men and women and how we cannot, in all things, be "equal". It was a bold statement, that I happen to agree with, and she was courageous to step out and share her feelings on the matter. It is a risky position to take, and the responses she got did nothing to encourage others to share similar perspectives. 

Which, of course, is why I felt like sharing mine. She inspired me to share my feelings on "Women's Rights", "Feminism" and "The March".

Let's be honest for a second, it is literally the difference between men and women that facilitates the procreation of human life. It takes a man and a woman to create a new life. Seriously. It takes a sperm and an egg. Without either, there is not life. Neither the egg nor the sperm is more important, but both working together, in perfect union, create a new life. 

I have several friends who argue that the woman then does "all the work" thus making her more "valuable" than the man, and while humor can be found in the discrepancy of the physical contribution after conception, that does not make the man's contribution any less valuable. The woman would not be able to carry and nourish that life without the man doing his part. (Even if that part was "just" donating the sperm.)

I am all for bettering the treatment of women around the world, but honestly, I am really for treating everyone with dignity and respect and improving the quality of life for everyone.

I believe that around the globe, women face many forms of abuse and injustice and I believe that we, as humans (not just women), are obligated to help our sisters. 

However, I do not believe that it needs to include tearing men down, devaluing them or trying to assert our gender as superior. I have a surprising number of friends who have crossed over from equality to reverse discrimination. They want women to be seen as "better than" men. It is sad that a good cause is being lost in the drive for superiority.

I also believe that we can't just "talk about it" and "share our opinions" or even just "march" and expect things to change. We need to also get out there and make a tangible difference. 

We can donate time and resources to organizations that help free women from sex trafficking, and while we are at it, let's help free children of both genders from that as well. We can help women who are victims of abuse, and while we are at it we can help children of both genders and stop belittling the experiences of men who have been victims of abuse and help them as well. We can make a positive difference for women around the world while also making a positive difference for men.

I really believe that we can make the greatest difference when we work together, in love, to improve conditions for all humanity.

Equality, true equality, is placing the same amount of value upon each life, not removing the differences that make each one of us special. That begins in the womb, before gender is known, and it continues even into how we speak of others posthumously. If we want to see equality for a specific group of people, we have to respect and value every life.

I believe that positive change can be made, but not by trying to bury the differences that make us unique or by trying to elevate one group while bringing another down. We cannot protect or gain our own rights while taking away the rights of others, including the unborn and men.

A wise man said...

The real difference will come when we love equally. When we help equally. When we are compassionate and passionate about bettering every life, not just our own or those "like" us. <3

Bless and be blessed, y'all.

A Much Needed Break.

The last couple weeks have been crazy for us. 

From sickness to snow and ice storms, life has been so very disrupted. We missed out on some fun things that we would have been doing, and my posts have been delayed, but the slow-down was so very, very needed. 

Everything being cancelled forced us to spend time together, (*gasp*), making some great memories and it allowed us to fully recover from the illness that took us all out of commission.

As we began January, with the pressing need to get our home ready to list for sale by the 30th, we could not afford to "waste" any time. There is so much work to do, not a lot of time and only one of me. I was feeling so stressed and being on the downward slope of the excitement of the holidays, I was feeling drained.

When it came to our commitments, I felt like I had nothing, zero, to offer. I had hope and joy in the promises of the Lord and even some growing excitement to see what He was going to do with our circumstances, but I was tired. 

So, so tired.

All I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and rest. For days.

- Be careful what you wish for. -

Because that is exactly what I got. The kids and of course the mommy, caught what I can only describe as the "cold from hell". The aches alone were enough to make me feel like crying, and then there was the fever, the sinus pressure that was threatening to make my skull explode, likely all over my beautiful bedding making a terrible mess to have to clean up, and the fever. My skin felt like it was on fire, my muscles felt like I had been pummeled by a heavyweight boxer and my head was throbbing from the building pressure from within. 

It was all I could do to take care of my sick babies and stand feebly in the hot shower in an attempt to comfort myself. Forget packing, sorting, cleaning, painting, and repairs.

Thankfully we still had a couple days before everything started up again. I was trying to figure out how I was going to get through the "obligations" of the coming week and something incredible happened...

* It snowed! *

You have NO idea how happy I was to see the beautiful, fluffy, white, sparkling blanket begin to cover the ground! I love snow anyway, but I have never loved it more!

Between snow and ice storms, the world around us stopped. Schools and business were closing. Families were spending time at home. Children were outside playing in the streets. The world was quiet and peaceful amidst the echos of laughter that filled the air. 

We had all just started feeling quite better when the snow came. The kids and I were able to spend afternoon after afternoon sledding on the hill by the soccer fields with friends and family. We even got to have an hour one afternoon to go sledding with their dad. (Who, poor man, had to work through the entirety of our grand adventure.)

There was excitement, laughter, squeals of joy, hot cocoa, hot cider and cookies to share. Everyone who brought a sled shared it with anyone who didn't have one. Kids and adults took turns trying out all the sleds and even shared the "favorite", reveling in the playful competition of "who could sled the farthest".

For a couple days all of the chaos, all of the busyness, all of the demands and obligations simply ceased to exist and our children got to experience the freedom of celebrating winter with the community around them.

For a few days, the adults got to make precious new memories with their children, reminisce about the joy of snow days from their youth and even become a kid again themselves. Even if it was just for a short time, it was wonderful!

It is hard to go back to the "grind" after so much unbridled joy. Times like these beg us to stay happily engaged in the dream of what life "could" be like if only things were less... complicated. 

All things must come to an end and it is often sad when they do, but we have been given a beautiful gift to hold onto in the days and years to come, when life is flying by at it's greedily demanding pace. We will have these beautiful memories to remind us of what is truly important. 

Reminders to slow down. 

Invest in the people around us. 

Laugh a little. Live a little. Love a little.

 

Be blessed, y'all. 

New Year, New Dreams.

{ Traditions }

Not everyone likes them, but we have a few that we will carry with us always.

This year we decided to continue some of our old traditions, embrace one of our favorite experiences as a tradition and start a brand new family tradition.

Since having children, we haven't been big into "celebrating" the New Year outside our home. Sure, we go visit friends and family but we always try to be home by 10 p.m. 

The last few years we have been trying something new... getting out of the house. Actually, to be more accurate, we have been leaving town. One year we spent the holidays at the beach and last year we celebrated New Year's Eve by staying over with some very dear family. That is where we had the incredible experience that left us all wanting to incorporate as a tradition going forward. 

We had never thought of starting the New Year, at 12:01 a.m., with a communion celebration. We have always taken the time to thank God for all that He has done for us over the past year and prayed for His will in the coming year. We even have a jar with slips of paper that recount all of the incredible ways, big and small, that we saw God at work in our lives over the past year. But set aside those first moments to stop, focus on His loving sacrifice, give thanks, sing His praise, and pray for His direction in the coming year... we never thought of taking that extra step. 

We were so touched and blessed by that beautiful experience we had, beginning the New Year with those we love giving thanks to our Father, that we decided we would forever begin it that way going forward.

So, after an evening of watching neighborhood fireworks in the freshly falling snow, at 12:01 a.m., gathered in our living room, having stayed home this year to enjoy what might be our last New Year in our home, we broke bread together, and gave thanks to our Father in Heaven for His unfailing love. We thanked Him for our salvation, for the grace, mercy and forgiveness given freely to all through Jesus' great sacrifice. We prayed, together, for wisdom, guidance, provision, and His will for our family in the coming year. 

Then...

We went to sleep! (I don't know about you, but the older I get, the less I desire to stay up and "party" all night. Morning is coming. hahaha)

We decided to spend part of New Year's day creating a new tradition. We have been in a season of uncertainty, particularly regarding what direction we are supposed to moving with our house situation for months. We have been seeking God, His guidance and direction, in all areas of our lives and we wanted to really spend some time starting our New Year with HIS vision.

I'm sure many of you have heard of "Dream Boards" or "Vision Boards". They are a fantastic way of sort of mapping out where we would like go in the year(s) ahead. A dear, and very wise, friend of mine introduced me to "Prophetic Boards".

What is a "Prophetic Board"? 

Well, it is the same as a "Dream/Vision Board" except... You ask God to show you HIS plan for your year. 

How does He show you His plan using a bunch of old magazines? 

In the most incredibly awesome ways! I know, it sounds silly and maybe even a little suspect. I mean, we could totally be just "picking out what we want" right? Yeah, we could do that, but what would we gain from plotting our own will? Which, is why we pray first. 

We set our will and plans aside and we ask God to show us His will and His plan for our lives. We ask Him to show us what words, phrases, or images to tear out. We ask Him to show us how to arrange them on our boards. We trust Him to reveal their meaning to us at the time of His choosing. 

Some of it makes perfect sense when it all comes together. Some of it is the answer to prayer. Some of it makes no sense at all, but if we really let Him show us what to choose, if we set our own plans aside, if we put our trust in Him and believe that He has a plan for us and He wants to share with us all that He wants to do with, through and for us, then we get to experience something incredible!

So, we prayed and let the tearing commence. We set a timer for 45 minutes. The only rule was that whatever "caught our eye" or we "felt we were supposed to tear out", no matter how crazy, we would tear out. No thinking and trying to decided if we should or shouldn't, if we we felt drawn to something or like we were supposed to include it, we did.

When we had our precious bits of soon-to-be-recycled magazines all torn out, and had cleaned up the edges, we prayed again for God to show us where each piece of His puzzle should go. Then the Mod Podge insanity began.

When we were all done, we took turns sharing our boards. We shared the meaning of the things God spoke to us about throughout the process. We giggled at the things that seemed too silly to be real and embraced whatever meaning God had for them. 

We were so encouraged by the unity of some of the messages across all of our boards. God spoke to each one of us about our home. He gave each of us a picture of a cabin in the woods, some covered in and surrounded by snow. He told us that we would have a "new beginning" this year. 

He spoke to us about missions, vacations and adventures to come. He specifically gave us England and Ireland!!! That is so exciting to us because, as many of you know, we are preparing to one day go on a long-term mission to Ireland and a short-term mission to England. 

Provision and Breakthrough were also constant threads among our boards.

There was such incredible encouragement and hope for the year to come. 

Much of what the Lord was speaking to us was confirmation of words He has given us through other people. In fact, at our New Year's day church service, a dear friend had a word for us that breakthrough was coming. God had provision planned for us and that He wanted to encourage us in our faith.

So we begin 2017, a year tossing about storms of questions and uncertainty, with renewed joy, excitement to see the Lord's plan for our lives play out in His time, peace knowing we are safely in His loving hands, and hope in the certainty that God is good and He is faithful to keep His promises.

Be blessed, y'all!

"What Do You Mean 'God Will Provide'?"

I had someone ask me, the other day, "What do you mean 'God will provide?"

I often take for granted my experiences where the Lord has provided when we could not. I forget that maybe other people might not have had that experience and that my saying that, may sound crazy. 

See we have had countless examples of God providing for us in both practical and miraculous ways. So, when we talk about God providing, we know that there are no limits or rules to what He can do or how He can do it. 

Naturally it doesn't mean that we don't do our part to provide for ourselves, but in recognizing that what "we" provide is actually coming from our Heavenly Father, we get to see the bigger picture of all that He does for us. 

For example, my husband would not have the income he has if God had not created the opportunity. It all began with giving his all at a job that not only paid far less than we needed, but in an environment where his hard work and dedication wasn't truly valued or appreciated. The disappointing work environment and Steve's desire to do his part to provide for the needs of our family is what led him to go back to college, full time, while working full time. 

He worked hard to earn that degree so he could in turn find better employment opportunities. Even when he got laid off from that job, which was a huge financial blow to our family, it was a blessing in disguise. He was able to complete his unpaid internship, which was required for him to graduate, and he received an outstanding letter of recommendation in the process.

He got his Bachelor's degree and began applying for jobs. It felt so discouraging to see him applying for job after job, knowing his education, certifications and experience more than qualified him, and yet no offers came. 

How is that a blessing, you might ask... Well, God had given him favor with the company that he did his internship for. Not only did they not have any open positions available at the time he completed his internship, it wasn't even in the budget to create one. However, one month later, he got a call from them, telling him that they valued the work he did so highly that they created a position for him and found a way to work his salary into the budget! The income wasn't what we needed or were hoping for, but it was a great place to start. The company had a history of being loyal to it's employees and it would be good experience. 

If he had not had the opportunity at that time, to take that unpaid internship, he would not have gotten that job and he would not have met the man who referred him to his new job, where he is finally making enough money for us to start saving and be able to help others! 

So when I say "God will provide", I am saying it knowing that He always has and He always will. It may not come in the package we expect it to come in, and it may not be exactly what we were asking for, but it is always good. 

We learned a lot in this season of limited finances about what to invest our money in, how to be grateful for what we have even when we don't know where our next meal is coming from and how we want to handle our money going forward now that we will be in a position to use it to help others who are struggling.

Saying "God will provide" doesn't mean sit back and wait for Him to do it all for you, it means do what you can, do what He has called you to do, and trust Him for the rest. 

It means discovering that what might seem like a curse is actually a blessing.

It means that no matter how BIG or impossible it may seem, God is not limited by our ability, or our circumstances, He can do anything!

It means not shying away from asking for the HUGE things or assuming that He doesn't care about the little things. Our Father loves us dearly and desires to give us GOOD gifts. Nothing is too big or small for God. 

Ask.
Seek.
Trust.

He is faithful to provide.

Be blessed, y'all. <3

In the Middle of the Storm...

I can find rest. More than that, I can find joy.

This Christmas was an incredible one.

We went into the Christmas season knowing that we would not be going on any "fun trips" or shopping for gifts to surprise our children with on Christmas morning. We would, instead, begin sorting through all of our worldly possessions to pack up what we would be keeping, donate what we wouldn't, and prepare our home to be listed for sale. 

We would be doing all of this with no idea of what the outcome would be. 

We don't yet know if the house will sell, or how long it will take. We don't even know how much we can sell it for. We don't know if there will be anything to put in the bank when it is all said and done, or if we will just break even. We don't know where we will be going to live. We don't know if we will be renting or buying. We don't know if we can even afford to do either. 

All we know is that God is GOOD. Even in this, God is GOOD.

So, we are moving forward, taking one step at a time, putting our trust and hope in His goodness and letting Him do the rest. 

In the midst of this struggle, in the chaos of it all, God is the calm. He is in control and He knows our needs. He has a plan for us. A good plan. And this Christmas He gave us several examples of just how much He loves us.

This "season of blessings" began with our church asking us if we wanted to be included in this year's "Giving Tree". We asked for some time to pray about it as a family. See, we usually have each of our children pick a name off of the tree and they get to pick out the "perfect gift" to match that child's need. This year, our children would be on that tree. 

We don't usually have a big Christmas, gift wise. We get the kids each one thing they want and something to wear, so not having a real budget for their Christmas gifts this year wasn't going to have that much of an impact. Yes, they did have a few needs, clothing wise, and of course a few wants. ;) We decided that we would accept this incredible opportunity, not just to "have presents under the tree" for our kids, but for our children to personally experience God's provision in their lives. 

So, we filled out the form, answering questions about their clothing needs, with sizes and color preferences, and their interests/hobbies with a "want" or two as options and we turned our information in to the church. 

We were back and fourth on whether or not we should buy a gift for one of the precious children on the tree even though our children were included, but ultimately, we felt that we were being called to continue to give, even though we didn't have the funds to give to 3 children this year. So the kids chose the tag they wanted to shop for and we set off to bless that precious child as much as we could. 

It's funny how God works all things for the good of His children. We hunted and hunted for the perfect gifts for the child on our tag. We were able to get twice as much as we expected with the money we had. The kids each got to pick out a couple things for each need listed on the tag. It was such a blessing to see God multiply the money we had, to provide even more than we imagined we could. 



We received the gifts for our children the week before Christmas and placed them under the tree along with gifts from their grandparents. 

On Christmas eve, we had the awesome opportunity to take our children to a local park and serve an amazing Christmas dinner to the homeless in our community. It was such a wonderful experience. Seeing our community come together to make such an incredible meal, provide gift bags with little things that most of us wouldn't even think about, and bless our brothers and sisters who don't even have so many of the things we all take for granted was beautiful to see. Seeing our children learning how to show love to those they don't even know without judgement, in the way Jesus asked us to serve, was a gift I could not have given them on my own without the hearts of the incredible group of people who work tirelessly throughout the week to provide meals, free laundry services, socks, hats, tents, blankets, sleeping bags and mats and so much more. They are an example of what loving others truly looks like.

On Christmas morning, our kids were blessed in the most incredible way. Not only did they receive some of the things they had hoped for from their grandparents, but every single need and want listed on the church form was provided and in a BIG way. Everything they were given was beyond anything we expected or would have asked for and to top it off, the amazing people from our church blessed us with gift cards to take kids out to dinner, a movie, a gas card and a grocery card. God even blessed us with money we needed as gifts from family.

In every way, this Christmas, was beyond anything we have ever experienced before and none of it came as a result of our own planning or trying. It all came from our Father who loves us and delights in giving us good gifts. He showed our children what loving others looks like and He provided the opportunity for them to learn how to serve. He multiplied the money we had so He could bless another child. He put it on the hearts of those who blessed us to go above and beyond anything we could have expected. He blessed our children through the love of their grandparents. He blessed us through the love of our parents and His amazing provision for our children. 

The love shown to our family, through family, through the church and from God will never be something we will forget. Our children will always remember what God did for our family this Christmas and will forever have the experience of seeing Him provide for all of their needs and even their wants. 

Y'all, we have a Father that loves us deeply and fiercely and there are no limits to His goodness. <3

Be blessed, y'all.

God CAN Do Anything...

This is the moment that we all face at some point in our walk with the Lord.

This is the "put up or shut up" moment.

Do I really believe what I profess?

Do I believe that God is GOOD?
Do I believe that He has a plan for us to prosper us and not to harm us?
Do I believe that He can do anything?
Do I believe that He loves us?
Do I believe that He only gives good gifts?

Is the God of the Bible my God or have I placed things before Him? Am I content to lose everything and have nothing left but Him?

Well, do I? Am I?

I know that I want to be, but am I really there?

"Faith is believing that what you hope for will happen."

What am I hoping for?

My plans, or God's?

That is the real question.

In the beginning, I was hoping for my plans. I was hoping my plans and God's were in alignment. I mean, why would He want to put us in what looks like a MUCH worse financial situation? Surely He wouldn't. So why are we here?!

We are here to walk through the "fire". To proclaim that our hope is in the Lord alone and that regardless of the outcome, He is good. We are here for our faith to be built. 

As I was fighting back tears while trying to put into words how broken and ashamed I feel that I can have such great faith for others but not for myself when I know that God is good, a very wise man told me, that it is because I am not on the other side yet. Then he told me a story. One that I have heard and read at least a thousand times, but somehow managed to miss one very important detail... it wasn't about pre-existing faith, it was about the building of faith.

In the Bible, in the book of Daniel, chapter 3, is the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. Every time I have read this story, I have marveled at their faith. 17:"If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and He will deliver us from Your Majesty's hand." They faced being burned alive in fires of a furnace for not compromising their beliefs, and they stood tall and held on to God and did not bow to idols of the king. I have longed to believe, as they did, that if I had to step, or be thrown, into that furnace, I would be okay because the Lord would protect me. I was completely in awe of how unwavering their faith was. 

What I missed was this:

18:"But even if He does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that w will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up."

They continue on declaring their resolve and refusal to yield to the king's demands, but that isn't the part I missed. It's those first six words... "But even if He does not...". In verse 17 they weren't stating their belief that God would save them from the fire, they were declaring their faith and hope in His ability to do so. Those are two very different things. 

They didn't know from experience that He would save them. They simply believed that He could. 

The man telling me this story told me that I am where they were. I am standing before this furnace, not knowing what/if God is going to do, all I can do is declare my faith in what He can do and stand firm in my resolve to declare His goodness regardless of the outcome. 

My faith, my ability to believe that God will, is being built. I don't have to be there yet. For now I can rest in simply knowing that He can.

Walking by Faith

Being a "doer", a person of action, who has contingency plans for the contingency plans, one of the hardest things to do has been to accept and embrace "not knowing". 

I am powerless to stop this. There is nothing I can do, in my own strength or of my own accord, to change what is happening. All I can change is how I respond to it.

I am utterly helpless.

The world would tell me that means I am hopeless, but God is telling me that this is exactly where I need to be so that He can show me something new.

---

Knowing that we would one day be going on a long-term mission, we had planned on eventually renting/selling our home and narrowing down our belongings to only the most "important" things. We felt no sorrow or even stress about setting all of that aside to do what we felt called to do. But this... this was not what we expected. We weren't even considering doing any of that for a few years. Selling our home and getting rid of everything now was not what we had been hoping and praying for. 

We were completely blindsided by this. For many weeks I felt like I was drowning. Breathing felt hard. Smiling was even harder. Joy seemed distant. For the first time in my life, hope felt so incredibly elusive. All I could do was cry out to God. I asked Him to forgive me in my unbelief, to help me to hope, to keep my heart focused on all that I am grateful for instead of wallowing in everything it felt like we were losing. 

I can't tell you how many hours I spent trying to figure out what I could do to try and raise money, to increase our income, to dig us out of this mess. I started to rehash all of the shoulda, coulda, woulda, choices and mistakes, but what was the point? It wasn't going to help anything, it just left me feeling more like a failure and less like there was hope on the horizon. 

At the same time, I was trying to figure out what step to take next. How do we go about selling our home? Can we refinance instead? Do we qualify to buy another home? Where are we going to live with rent being so high? How am I going to fix everything that needs to be fixed so I can even show this house? What about sorting and packing? How am I going to find the time to get all of this done while home schooling and still continuing our volunteer commitments? 

We started considering stepping down from all of our commitments. With my husband working long hours, I will be doing the majority of the packing and prepping the house on my own, so we began to feel like we had to cut out everything else and just focus on this. Which, honestly, left me feeling more bleak about the foreseeable future. 

I didn't want every second of my life to be consumed with just this. I wanted to keep those things that bring joy and fulfillment. 

We had also been discussing our financial plan for the immediate future with some people whose wisdom and advice we deeply respect. The plan was to save every penny we could. That meant cutting as much spending as possible, including any additional charitable giving we were doing on top of our tithing. We don't give much above tithing because there isn't much to give, but we didn't want to commit to not giving if God put it on our hearts to do so.

In both of these these things, serving and giving, we felt conflicted. There were pros to stopping both, but what weighed more heavily on our hearts was were we following God's plan? 

We prayed and asked God what we were supposed to do about our Community Group that meets at our house once a week. We didn't want to quit, this was something God had called us to do and He hadn't told us to stop. Yet, we didn't want to just up and abandon them the moment the house sold. So, we asked God if it was time to set the group aside. While others were telling us that maybe we need to do less, we are trying to do too much, we asked God and we heard one word... "stay". 

What did that mean? Were we supposed to keep leading the group? How were we going to make that commitment and have our home available to show?

On top of all of this there is Christmas. The holidays are coming and instead of spending time as a family enjoying the season, and possibly our last Christmas in the only home our kids remember, we were going to be sorting out what things mattered enough to put them in storage and getting rid of the rest.

I was burned out and at the end of my ability to figure anything out. 

So, we prayed about it. We asked for direction. And He answered.

The grace of God met me there, in that place of exhaustion and confusion...

God is a good Father. He doesn't leave us alone and afraid, or wandering aimlessly. He sends us little reminders of His love and lets us know that He is with us and that His plans for us are good.

A woman of incredible faith came over to us at church, moments after I had been praying and asking God to help me; to show me what to do. She told us that God knows. That He has seen our hearts to serve others. That we give, of our time, our talents, out of what we have and even what we don't have. That we have done everything we could, creatively and with our own ability, to bring income into our home. He said that we are to continue to serve, to continue to give, even out of our lack, and that was where He would bless us. He said it was time for us to rest in letting Him bring income to our family. It was no longer our burden.

I can't tell you how much I needed to hear this from Him. His timing was perfect. 

I felt peace and hope for the future for the first time since we made this decision. Just knowing these two simple things, that we were to keep serving and giving, gave me some sense of direction and that gave me a measure of peace in the unknown. 

Hearing Him say that we have done all we could and that we were released from the burden of having to "make the finances better" took so much pressure off of our shoulders. 

He knew that we tried. He knew that we did our best. He wasn't disappointed with us. He was giving us a break. He was letting us rest in His hands while He takes care of the next part.

For the first time in weeks, I don't feel like I'm being crushed under the weight of this thing. For the first time I don't feel overwhelmed.